I am over my blog angst ... probably

So ... confession: I've actually been actively avoiding posting to this blog. At first it was because I was on vacation, but not too long after I got back the tornadoes ripped through the South, and I ended up feeling (justified or not) like anything I posted would be rather trite, when so many of my friends were dealing with big issues. And then after that writing a post seemed suddenly both overwhelming and inadequate. Overwhelming because I hadn't posted in so long I couldn't even decide what to talk about, and inadequate because, let's be honest, most of what I spend my life doing is extended babysitting.

But having been motivated by the wonderful LL's post on Monday, I am sucking it up and getting over my blog angst. Woot woot! And in order to do so, I have decided to go all Maria Van Trapp on you and make a list of my favorite things (that have happened since I last posted).

[Disclaimer: the list will not rhyme. Nor will it be set to music. It is also only four items long. Deal.]

1. Toast with butter, berry jam, and goat or sheep cheese (chèvre or brebis). I have this feeling my host family thinks it's weird, and possibly you do too, oh ye of little faith. It's the Best Breakfast Ever. So go try it - now.

2. Yard sales. I love them. And a couple weekends ago some other au pairs and I went to our favorite crêperie (2-3 Tbsp of nutella/crêpe. LOVE) and discovered that the neighborhood was having their semi-annual gigantic yard/garage sale. Seriously, if Paris had blocks, this would have covered about 3. Finding it was, truly, a beautiful moment.

3. Bizarre conversations with my children. Mostly this happens with the 6 yr old, who talks pretty much constantly (yes, I do sympathize with my parents now, because I swear he is impossible to stop once he gets going). ANYway, our conversations often go something like this:

6: Heyheyhey, I have a question.

Me: Can you brush your teeth first?

6: Yes, but first, how does Superman-

Me, cheerfully: Brush your teeth first, ask questions later!

6: Yes, but how can he fly? And why-

Me, sternly: We'll talk about this after you brush your teeth, you're going to be late for school.

6: Yes, but did you see the other superman? Why-

Me, increasingly desperate: Teeth! Now!

6: Yes, but why-

(At this point I usually give up in despair)

He's still young enough that the TV v. reality distinction is a little difficult for him, and given that they've recently been obsessed with Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman, we've had quite a few variations of the above conversation. It's the times like that which make watching kids rewarding.

4. Sudoku. I used to chuckle at people who played it - they claim to have fun putting numbers in little boxes. Lame. But then the dad went on a business trip to the US, and brought back presents for the kids and his wife, and, so that I wouldn't feel left out (which really was nice of him) brought back a little Sudoku book for me. Yeah, I'm not ashamed to admit that I was completely, utterly wrong. Sudoku is, to quote the Irish au pair who lives nearby, deadly.

Not going to museums

After my last stunning piece about the value of cultural activities, specifically art museums, I have spent the last two weeks not going to them. La vie.

Instead, since the weather has cleared up and been gorgeous, I have spent my time wandering around Paris. And I really do mean wandering. Two Saturdays ago a couple other au pairs and I went in for the day without any particular plans. We spent time in central Paris, looking for gifts, then went up to Sacré Coeur and spent some time in a little park that - surprisingly - wasn't overrun with tourists. Everything was sunny and blooming and it was every cliché about Paris in Spring that you've ever heard.

We found a seriously cool apartment building from 1901 - art nouveau kids! - and kind of maybe snuck inside, which was also, though not equally, exciting.

I'm kind of in love with it.

Then this weekend we went cemetery hopping in Cimitière Monparnasse (Edgar Quinet), which was nice, and Cimitière Père Lachaise, which was gorgeous and peaceful and kind of crazy, but in a good way.

The last is Oscar Wilde's tomb. I did kiss it, but ... it's a little gross, honestly.

So I did not go to any museums, but I think embracing Spring is equally important. Next time I post I should have some more pictures, as I'm going on vacation with the fam again, which means I won't be updating for at least a week and a half (no internet). Although, to be honest, that wasn't all that likely anyway.

Hope everyone else is enjoying Spring as well (or Fall, if you're in the Southern hemisphere)!

Why I visit art museums

I had written a lyrical post about how wonderful it is to experience Spring here. How after not seeing the sun for months it actually was incredibly moving to finally have sunlight and warmth and flowers. How living in Kenya and Alabama I had never really experienced the joy that is a sunny afternoon spent on the grass making daisy chains, after having survived a real winter. How I appreciated Spring so much more this year. How I hardly recognized the sun when it finally reappeared, but how much I loved and appreciated it, and how much difference it made in my outlook on life.

That was last Saturday. Then, before I had time to edit that post, it started raining and has basically rained since last Sunday afternoon. So that is not the post I am going to, you know, post.

Instead, here are my thoughts on why I go to art museums (it seemed like a natural progression that the time, kids).

One of the au pairs who lives and works in the same town as me asked me that question recently. Didn't I find art museums boring? Did I just feel like I had to go because I lived here and they were the places I was supposed to go? The answer to the first was easy - no, I don't find them boring. I really do enjoy art museums, and I have a (very) amateur interest in/knowledge of art history (thank you Dr. Smith!). Also, I find art museums beautiful, and enjoy seeing art the way one might enjoy good food, or seeing a good movie. The answer to the second question was less easy.

Because, to a certain extent, I do feel like there are certain places I have to visit. I would like to think that this is not just liberal-arts-college-graduate guilt, although I suppose that's possible.

[NB. Liberal-arts-college-graduate guilt (noun): the intense need to prove the worth of a liberal arts education by spending time in 'cultural' and 'intellectual' locales, despite a lack of interest or knowledge. Related to the need to prove intellectual superiority by enabling one to causally drop into conversation sentences such as: "Oh, well, I found that the early Picassos in the Musée d'Orsay - the ones on display last time I was in Paris - are really more illustrative of expressionism."]

I would like to think that this is not my primary motivation. But I do feel a certain responsibility to visit culturally and historically significant sites while I'm here. Not because I want to brag about it, but because I think it will make me a more well-rounded person. I do not, for example, love modern art. But I visited the Pompidou Center anyway. Modern art may not really be my cup of tea, but it's important. Visiting the museum allowed me to witness history through art. Seeing the changes took place in art over the hundred or so years illustrated by the museum gave me a broader understanding of some of the social movements taking place at the same time.

To a certain extent Duchamp's "Fountain" is ridiculous. It's a urinal, y'all. That he signed. It's actually kind of gross. But it's also a lot more than that. It's a statement, and illustrative of a fundamental change in both art and cultural attitudes. And even if I'm uninterested in seeing it again, it was well worth the trek into Paris on a cold, rainy weekend (when I could have been in my warm, dry bed) in order to see it. And yes, I DO feel more cultured for having gone to see it, and I don't think that makes me 1. a silly tourist or 2. elitist.

I'm in Paris. It's a city whose art is a central part of its history and identity, so I don't want to squander the amazing opportunity I have to explore how it became what it is today, and why it was the capital of European culture for centuries.

Don't take this as a "GO VISIT MUSEUMS NOW!!!" spiel because that's not my intent. Nor am I trying to say that the only good way to spend free time in Paris is to explore the Musée d'Orsay. But I do think it's important not to dismiss activities/places as being for the elitist intellectual or just for tourists ('real Parisians don't go to museums! especially not with cameras!').

So I visit art museums because I have an amateur interest in art history, I actually do enjoy most of them, I am a history geek and, yes, I think I owe to myself to visit them. Going to Notre Dame or the Louvre or Versailles does not automatically make me more cultured, more well-rounded, or give me a better understanding of French history and culture. But given time and effort on my part, those visits can help me towards all of those things. So giving up my Saturdays is more than worth it to me.

The GMAT is finally out of my life

It's true. I took it for the second time and now I am done done done done done. Done. For the last three weeks that test has consumed my waking hours. I have lived, breathed and dreamed about standardized tests. Literally - two weeks ago I dreamed I was part of an elite group of girls who where hunting a coven of vampires who were trying to cheat on the LSAT (they went down, y'all) and last week I dreamed I was taking the test and got a 35 ... which I was thrilled with, since in the context of that particular dream the GMAT was scored like the ACT. It was kind of heartbreaking to wake up and realize that 1. A 35 would not be a good score and 2. I hadn't taken it yet.

BUT I finally took it yesterday and even scored a couple points higher than I'd hoped! In the spirit of complete honesty, though (since I just kind of bragged), some of that may possibly be due to extremely lucky guesses - I did the last 5 math problems in 2 minutes. And while I hope never to take it again, I can't say I've put it all the way behind me yet. I dreamed about the test again last night; in a horrible twist of fate, I was trying to rescue someone - I think trains were involved - and needed to use exponents in order to do so. Given that, I'm surprised I didn't wake up in a cold sweat. Although I did wake up knowing exactly what problem on the test the dream had come from.

But other, non-test-related things have also happened in my life, I promise! Some of the other girls and I drove up to Normandy a couple Saturdays ago and went to Omaha beach (and the American military cemetery next to it), then into Bayeaux to see the Bayeaux Tapestry. I think I can safely say that those were some of the most exiting things I've done here, especially for the history geek in me. And seeing the American military cemetery was powerful.

Have not gone into Paris much recently, to my disappointment, but I plan to make it in this weekend. I pretty much always want to go into Paris, but over the last week it's finally started warming up some and we've had *gasp!* sunshine! So, hopefully, I'll have some time to wander around a park a little, and eat my weight in candy as a way to recover from the GMAT.

Latest French escapades

Ok, I guess that's a teensy bit misleading ... I don't really do escapades. Mostly I go to art museums and eat unhealthy amounts of nutella. Although I've been cutting back, I swear! Mind, I've picked up a gummy worm habit instead, so I don't know that my sugar problem is actually getting any better ...

... but that's neither here nor there. What I've really been doing for the last two weeks is vacation. French schools run in 5-7 week sessions - I don't know what else to call them - each followed by a week or two of vacation. Thus after the first session, at the end of October, we had a week of vacation (this is when I went to Île de Ré), then after the second session was Christmas break, and now, at the end of the third, we got a lovely two weeks off.

The family I work for went skiing during the first week, and though they welcomed me to come along, I opted to house-and-cat-sit for the week instead, not being all that athletically inclined. I was a little nervous about being on my own for a week, but I got to spend a lot of time with the other au pairs in the area, and the cat kept me company at night, following me around the house with great dedication and sleeping on my bed.

That week really was nice. It gave me time to relax, get a few things done, sleep in, watch movies, and play the wii game "Just Dance" - which is surprisingly fun and addictive. The other girls and I cooked dinner together several times and generally just hung out.

One of the girls and I visited IKEA, which I think I shall write about next in its own post. It's kind of a big deal here.

The other big adventure of the week was visiting Chartres cathedral.

Y'all.

I have actually visited a fair number of churches. Not tons, but about 20 during interim in Rome, and a couple here in Paris. I have seen more impressive cathedrals, in terms of sheer size (ie. St. Peter's) but Chartres was, without a doubt, one of the most stunning buildings I've had the privilege to visit. From the inside, it's a fairly simple floorplan, but the outside of the building is warrened with flying buttresses and open corridors and the bulging outsides of rooms that you can't see from the inside:

It's wonderful, and huge. And the best part is how much is original - it's almost entirely the original medieval building, which means there are tons of statuary (literally) and all of the figures are unique and individual, from the huge sculptures next to the doors to the thousands of tiny figures around the tops of the arched entrances. Stunning.

You can see that they're cleaning it, which is a five year process. But the parts they've got done, like the top levels here at the front of the cathedral, are gorgeous, as you can see.

Also, I'd seen pictures of Chartres before (we studied some of the stained glass in an art history class), but somehow I'd never heard about the wall around the choristry, or whatever you call the place where the choir hangs out. It's a long wall, inside the church, that's absolutely encrusted with carvings: (Sorry for terrible picture quality - not a lot of light in this part of the church)

Pillars and decorative patterns, but also rows of round pictures around the bottom, and, best of all, huge scenes from the life of Christ, all about, oh, 10-12 feet off the ground. So sue me, I suck at estimating. Anyway, they're not really carvings, because all the statues are fully carved out. The statues are fully carved out, not attached the wall except at their bases. I estimate the standing adults are about 3ft tall. And they're beautiful, and moving. Here's the adoration of Christ by what I think are Magi, but which look sort of shepherd like:

We also walked the tourist circuit through the medieval part of the city, which was, well, picturesque. And old. It still amazes me, every time I'm in Paris, or Chartres, for example, how old things are! It's hard for me, and if I dare generalize recklessly, Americans as a whole, to understand how the weight of so much history shapes a country and its culture. Oh, we have history, to be sure, but in Europe you can feel it everywhere you go. There's much (MUCH) more consciousness of it, and more consciousness of (relatively) recent events such as WWI than I have ever seen in the US. WWI still affects people's attitudes on a daily basis. And while it had a huge effect on the national psyche of the US as well, it's not really something we still talk about much. Here it is.

All of which came out of a discussion of Chartres' medieval city, which was, on a more superficial note, picturesque:

My new obsession: glassware. Also: inappropriate laughter in art museums.

Sometimes I think I ought to waste less time and work more, because I find myself obsessing about things like glassware.

Let me explain - no, there is too much, let me sum up. I had been trying to figure out what would be a good thing to take home when I leave France, because while I like souvenirs, I don't like useless ones. I like to have bigger, and more memorable souvenirs of places I've been, but only if they're something I use regularly. That way I can think, "Oh, I remember when I bought this [notebook/tea strainer/dress/pair of earrings]! It was when I was in [Rome/Disney World/Nairobi/PARIS]!

And then I'm all excited and reminiscent. It's great!

BUT the problem is that many of the things I would like to get here are things I would be able to buy in the US just as easily and probably more cheaply. This has led me to contemplate some interesting and possibly unwise purchases. Most recently, glassware.

Now I am aware that buying a set of wine glasses here, while cool and very French, is impractical in the extreme. How will I get 10 wineglasses in my suitcase - because of course I want extras - and haul them across the Atlantic without a) breaking them or b) ruining all my socks by inadvertently filling them with shards of glass?

It's a dilemna (I'm sorry, I have a deep-seated need to spell that with an n. I can't explain it) that I have yet to solve. And I think that the fact that I've spent so much time on it says less than flattering things about my current preoccupations.

So, lest you think I have been consumed by a mire of (irrelevant) pedestrian concerns (like: and once I get to the US, would I need to replace ALL my socks?), I would like to add that I spent my time this weekend in a much more intellectual frame of mind: I visited the Centre Pompidou.

For the unenlightened, the Centre Pompidou is a modern art museum in Paris. It has all it's pipes on the outside, and it caused a big brouhaha when it was built. Now it's pretty much accepted as a colorful and, well, pipe-covered feature of the city. I saw Duchamps' "Fountain," and several Calder sculptures (mobiles?), as well as a Picasso that I'd never seen and really loved. There was also an interesting room with a video projection called Echo, which was a violinist playing a violin at the edge of a massive cliff in the middle of the mountains - and he was harmonizing with himself by playing along with his echo. I loved it.

Unfortunately I then proceeded to disgrace myself in the eyes of quite of few of my fellow museum go-ers by laughing out loud when I came across an exhibit of a bookshelf covered in junk with trash strewn (artfully) around the floor in front of it. I couldn't help myself, though - someone was photographing the thing! And it was just so stereotypical of "modern art." Oh, and I giggled at the copy of a Mondrian block painting where the colored blocks were furry. I concluded that Modern Art is not my thing, although I am glad I went.

So the Musée d'Orsay remains my favorite art museum - but next week, if I can, I am going to the Rodin Sculpture museum - kind of VERY excited!

Second Christmas, reading, swimming and life in general

So I was trying to come up with a fun exciting blog topic that would paint a beautiful picture of my life, using over-extended metaphors, if possible.

I failed. So instead I'm going to take a leaf from the fabulously well-written Girl in the Afternoon, and use bullet points. Hopefully this will work like an impressionist painting and the different tidbits will come together to form a cohesive and moving whole.

... but if they don't, I have at least succeeded in overextending a metaphor! Success!

• Saturday we celebrated Second Christmas, with the mom's side of the family. Lots of fun, and lots and lots of food. We had foie gras, which apparently is the traditional starter for French Christmas dinner, and I ended up really liking it.
• - The second course was a roti of beef (no idea what the English translation of roti is, sorry) and it was pretty rare, although I did enjoy it. I confess, though, that my main thought when I saw it was an unfortunately appropriate Harry Potter quote, "Ze English overcook zer meat - I 'ave always said zis."
• - As wonderful as the food was, I was briefly (but legitimately) afraid that I was going to explode before dessert.
• - With the fois gras, we had a wine provided with the grandfather, who said it was from '83. At that point several people turned to me and the father said something like, "Isn't that before you were born?" Why yes, yes it is. But it was fabulous wine!

• Sunday 3 other au pairs and I went swimming at a pool in a nearby town. It ended up being a lot of fun. We swum around the adult pool some, went down the slide, and then hung out in the kiddy pool, which was shallower, but warmer. And hopefully I will not now get some horrible disease from being forced to go shoeless in the changing rooms.

• The Birmingham public library system now has books online, available for download. Not a huge selection, as yet, but I am already finding it makes me both very happy and even less productive than I was before. Alas for using my time wisely!

• I had a phone interview yesterday with what is currently my top choice for graduate school. Exciting but somewhat nerve-wracking, until they told me that they would have an acceptance decision for me by Friday - at which point it became just nerve-wracking.

• All of my children are healthly!! Excitement!!