This post sort of grew out of my last one. Generally I write about things I've been doing, new experiences, things like that. But as I was writing the belated Thanksgiving post, I started thinking about homesickness. And as a disclaimer, I swear this isn't going to be super depressing, mostly because I don't really get homesick.
Ok, that's not completely exactly fully true, but mostly so. I tend to be fairly mellow about adjusting to new situations and locales, and usually figure there's no point in wishing for some place/thing not currently available. I might as well enjoy what I've got, instead. And I pretty much do. There are benefits to being a terribly practical person.
This is not to say, lest ye be offended, oh reader, that I never miss anything. Not being homesick does not equal not wanting some things related to home. Mostly I miss people. While I am willing to accept the necessity of being a long way from family and friends, that doesn't mean I wouldn't like to be closer. But places and things ... these I find I can live without. Although cheap and easily available Dr. Pepper - and doriotos, cheap or otherwise - would be fabulous.
Most of this I found out in college, when I was (for a couple years, at any rate) a long way from most of my immediate family. But I had Grinky and lots of aunts and uncles and cousins nearby, not to mention my useless older brother (for the first 9 mo or so, anyway), and of course I soon made some very good friends. Being here is the first time I've really been on my own, and I wasn't sure if I'd handle the situation the same way.
So far I have. I do miss family and friends, and can't wait to see people at Christmas, but I haven't had that hard of a time adjusting, which is what I was hoping for (and sort of expecting).
What I've found that I did not expect is that rather than missing specific places, favorite restaurants, stores, or foods (except the aforementioned Dr. Pepper, nectar of the Gods, and doritos, whose awesomeness is beyond mere words) what I actually miss is the sense of familiarity and security that having these things around gives. I love Target (no, I really really love that store) but when I'm in a French grocery/general stuff store, I don't miss Target itself - the French store has everything I need. But I DO miss knowing exactly how the check-out lines work, and knowing the general vicinity in which one will find q-tips.
They say that when you move somewhere where you don't know the language, the first few months are fatiguing because you have to work so much harder just to function at a basic level in society. My French is good enough that this hasn't been much of a problem (although finding contact solution without knowing the word for contacts was a bit of a struggle!). But even in Western Europe, where the culture is similar in very many ways to the US, I've found it harder than I expected to figure out some of the details of daily life - like how one gets the attention of the waiter.
It's the sense of familiarity that, when I'm feeling nostalgic, I miss most. Until they're gone, one doesn't realize how much security comes from an understanding of social cues. It gets better the longer I'm here, because of course I'm learning more of how things work and what's expected in French society, but when I try and buy phone credit from a tabac for the first time, rather than the electronics store I'd been going to, or when I buy a baguette from a different boulangerie, it takes a little adjustment all over again.
It's not a bad thing, really, but it is something I didn't really expect, that's taken some adjusting. It does give a lot of perspective on how much we take for granted an intimate knowledge of our own culture, though!
